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Dec/Jan gig guide – mense raak mal

Hold on to your wallets peeps, it’s December holidays. Okay, let’s be real: you’re gonna have to shell out, but try not to hand it over to those capitalist bastards who would take the last 5c out of your credit card account and then sell your kidney to a muti mafia for the interest if they could, without even a single disturbed dream about it. Rather spend your dosh on the people who subvert the system that shackles us to the nine-to-five and the school run and the debt and the daily dying-just-to-try-stay-alive. Yes, we’re talking about the artists. Buy tickets for presents. Hell, buy their merch for a gift. And if you’re going to buy shit, buy as much of it as you can from small businesses. And how’s this for an idea: buy your partner or your dad or your sibling a year’s subscription to an actual newspaper that does the hard work of checking their facts in order to tell you what’s actually what. And take care out there, mense raak mal.
Music

There’s a full line up at the Alma Cafe prior to Christmas, and then after New Year’s. The break in between is to allow you to recover from your stuffing. First up is Afrikaans heart throb Jak de Priester who has spat out ten albums in the last 11 years. Spotify throws him out in the company of Kurt Darren and Bok van Blerk, as well as (cough) Steve Hofmeyer. But Jack Parow is also in the algorithm so there’s hope. Jak’s got serious fan numbers, and let’s face it, the music is perfect for the saccharine summer holidays. Tickets cost R200. Email bookings@almacafe.co.za to reserve your spot.

Something quite different, and more down our alley, which leads to Blues Street, is Ned Evett on Saturday 21 December. Ned’s from the USA so he has a blues heritage to tap into. He also invented the fretless glass-necked guitar. Sounds bizarre, but blues rock guitar wizards such as Joe Satriani and Red Hot Chili Peppers’ guitarist John Frusciante are converts. Search it on the interwebs ek se. Not often you’ll get a chance to see this kind of jol on your doorstep. Tickets are 20 bucks cheaper than our previously mentioned local hero.

Escaping the heat in Durbs to play in our cooking little tourist haven is Tree63 with an unplugged gig at Alma Cafe on Sunday 22 December. They’re a Christian rock band which, according to the Bible bashing sermons we were privy to in the Satanist-obsessed ‘80s, is an oxymoron accompanied by fire and brimstone. Times have moved on, thank gods.

Now here’s an ou who doesn’t get the recognition he deserves. Bill Knight only has 11 monthly listeners on Spotify, which proves the cream doesn’t rise to the top. Rather, shit floats. But Bill’s followers are probably the kind of people who buy LPs, not subscriptions to the artist-killing platform we only click on to find out what the hell we’re writing about because we don’t have the hard copy (and yes we refuse to pay that techbro whose platform pays artists basically fokol). Bill’s a folk muso of the best kind. Actually we do have a few of his CDs but we were curious about the spotty figures. Anyway, rant over, Bill’s playing a tribute to fellow folk heroes Leonard Cohen and Bob Dylan at the Alma Cafe on Friday 3 January 2025. Sounds like just the right gig to soothe the nerves and provide some hope after the phfft doef phfft phfft doef that saturates the New Year’s Eve decks.

Another tribute on Saturday 4 and Sunday 5 January. This time to Crosby, Stills & Nash by the local group that sounds just like them: Hatchetman. They know what they’re doing with those harmonies man, take our word for it. Other than the dates, the deets for all these gigs aren’t quite out in the open yet, so email bookings@almacafe.co.za to get clarity.

Hometown favourites Freshlyground are playing together again, this time with Congo Cowboys at Kirstenbosch on 5 January. Tickets cost from R235 to R310 and the sloped lawns on which you park off (or shove to the front to shake your arse) are family friendly so children under six-years-old are allowed in free of charge. Tickets on Webtickets. Show starts at a quarter-past-five pm.

Theatre

Somewhat eccentric, depending on who you ask, but certainly colourful, is Francesco Nassimbeni. He also has that most endearing of qualities, the ability to play. Which is why his theatre work is always worth a look, so you should check out The Sun is a Star and we Know What it’s Made of at Theatre Arts (cnr Milton and Wesley streets in Observatory), which he directs. It runs from 14 – 19 January and is billed as “a poetic exploration of what it means to be yourself in a world that seems to be fragmenting and dissolving. It’s also “about love and meaning in a hyper-digitised world”, which is something we all need to get a handle on. Featured on stage is Andi Colombo, Aviwe Clyde Nose, Cassandra Mapanda, Klara Robertson, and Dean Goldblum, who are accompanies by Roland du Preez. Tickets cost R180 and the shows are at 8pm. Go to https://theatrearts.co.za/ for bookings and whatnot.

Not much cerebral stuff going on at the Baxter theatre complex at year end, nor year beginning. But if you want song and dance and comedy, you’ll find it. On the Baxter’s big Pam Golding stage, there’s Joltyd – Through the Ages of Music, which is glitter and razzmatazz and flashy lights with the likes of Loukman Adams and co who will give you sing-a-longs and allround upbeat vaaibs right up until 4 January, including New Year’s Eve. Shows are at 8pm and matinees at 2pm. Tickets range from R180 to R220 and you can buy them on Webtickets.

There’s also Schalk Bezuidenhout’s Krismis Bonanza at the Baxter Studio, running until 21 December. Expect Schalkie as the elf wif a snor who brings you presents in the form of other comedians/actors/singers/performers. You can undo the wrapping by buying a ticket for R250 on Webtickets.

Of course it wouldn’t be December in Cape Town without Marc Lottering having his month-long show at the Baxter. This time he’s with Alfred Adrian to bring out the laughs. On in the concert hall  also until 4 January including New Year’s Eve. Tickets cost R250 from Webtickets. Shows are at 7pm with 3pm matinees.

If you enjoy dark humour even half as much as we do, you might want to watch The Addams Family musical at the Homecoming Centre on Caledon Street (the old The Fugard).  It’s billed as a spooky, wickedly-funny show that is “perfect” for all ages. This storyline is that the ‘princess of darkness’, Wednesday, falls in love with a ‘normal’ boy, Lucas. The Addams Family invites him and his parents for dinner, at which point there is mayhem and general hilarity. The show runs right through until February and tickets cost between R350 and R580, which you can get on Webtickets.

It’s Christmas, so of course there has to be a performance of The Nuctracker. And this classic ballet is at Artscape, of course. You can meet the sugar plum fairy with Clara for anywhere between R160 and R400 if you book on Webtickets. It runs until 29 December but move fast as most shows are already sold out.

Art

Escape the inner – city heat and go to the Norval Foundation’s rolling gardens there by Steenberg where you can find some quietness as you drink in Cassi Namoda’s first major exhibition on the African continent, despite her coming from Mozambique. Her exhibition Is it sunny or cloudy in the land you live on? Has canvasses filled with colour transforming the “cultural mythologies and historical narratives of life in post-colonial Africa”. If that’s too much to swallow, think on how she changes the representation of the European mother and child to an African mother commuting on an underpowered motorbike – possibly to work – with her child. An image of mother as powerful and independent foregrounded against a pink and green city beneath a bruised sky. Flipping the script, in other words. See if you can spot her references to Picasso, Munch, and Matisse. It runs until 20 January and entrance is free for under-18s, but day passes cost R200 for African nationals (we presume this includes Safricans) and R300 for ‘internationals’. You can get them on Webtickets.